Important Recall Notice this Christmas
OFFICIAL RECALL NOTICE
The Maker of all human beings (GOD) is recalling all units manufactured, regardless of make or year, due to a serious defect in the primary and central component of the heart.
This is due to a malfunction in the original prototype units code named Adam and Eve, resulting in the reproduction of the same defect in all subsequent units. This defect has been technically termed "Sub-sequential Internal Non-morality," or more commonly known as S.I.N., as it is primarily expressed.
Some of the symptoms include:
- Loss of direction
- Foul vocal emissions
- Amnesia of origin
- Lack of peace and joy
- Selfish or violent behavior
- Depression or confusion in the mental component
- Fearfulness
- Idolatry
- Rebellion
The Repair Technician, JESUS, has most generously offered to bear the entire burden of the staggering cost of these repairs. There is no additional fee required.
The number to call for repair in all areas is: P-R-A-Y-E-R. Once connected, please upload your burden of SIN through the REPENTANCE procedure. Next, download ATONEMENT from the Repair Technician, Jesus, into the heart component.
No matter how big or small the SIN defect is, Jesus will replace it with:
- Love
- Joy
- Peace
- Patience
- Kindness
- Goodness
- Faithfulness
- Gentleness
- Self control
DANGER: The human being units not responding to this recall action will have to be scrapped in the furnace. The SIN defect will not be permitted to enter Heaven so as to prevent contamination of that facility.
Thank you for your attention!
- GOD
P.S. Please assist where possible by notifying others of this important recall notice, and you may contact the Father anytime by Knee mail!
Hope you act on this recall notice because once you leave the earth, any opportunity to remedy the SIN defect is lost. You see someone must pay for your sins: either you do it yourself and experience the eternal wrath of God, or you can avail yourself of God's gracious provision for our sin through His Son Jesus Christ's atonement on the cross.
I remedied my SIN problem on Oct. 28, 1976, when I repented of my sin and asked Jesus to be my personal Savior. It was the most important and best decision of my life.
The Bible says:
Labels: Holidays, Religion/Atheism